![]() ![]() We boarded, and as Rand was graciously putting my carry-on in the overhead, I guess he took a second too long to do it, because some woman passed him and said haughtily, “Uh, they check bags for free.” Or they just act like assholes, which seemed to be the school of thought that most of the people on this flight adhered to. Other people go the more passive aggressive route: they wear paper masks over their faces, despite showing no discernible signs of illness, to frighten away hypochondriacs. We boarded, and the crew announced that there was plenty of room on this flight, which meant that everyone became Gollum, screaming “MY PRECIOUS” while lying across an entire row. Sometimes the devil brings you ginger ale. But they are still part of this evil empire so I blame them, too. I should note that the crew was actually lovely. Rand paid extra to have us board in an early group, because Southwest isn’t going to let its running-of-the-bulls-but-with-children-and-old-people-and-carry-ons seating structure stop them from having a social hierarchy. And that is where I think the root of all appalling behavior on Southwest flights originates. Instead, Southwest is a fucking free-for-all. Remove it, and people start strangling one another for free t-shirts. ![]() It is what separates us from the Italians. It the cornerstone of any functioning society. I mean, I’ve been to movie theaters that have assigned seating. Southwest does not have assigned seating. They inevitably start asking questions, and I’m too embarrassed to admit I’m from Seattle so I just say things like “YES PENGUIN MEAT IS DELICIOUS”.įor those of you who are itching to point out that there are no penguins in Alaska: that is not the biggest problem you should have with that sentence. Outside of the west coast, everyone assumes flying Alaska Air means you are from Alaska. One will get you where you need to go and the other is probably going to get us all killed OH GOD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.Īnyway, Alaska’s big flaw is that they don’t really operate anywhere but the Pacific Northwest. I fly Alaska Airlines, and the delta (ha!) between the two airlines is the same one that exists between Donald Trump and Obama: on some level, these two things are fundamentally the same (men who have held the office of president commercial airlines) – but seriously, fuck no. Generally, I don’t fly Southwest because I don’t hate myself. Every now and then we may deviate from this norm (I once woke up angry with Rand because he’d done something to piss me off in a dream) but for the most part we adhere to a social contract that requires us to at least pretend that we’re simply scratching our nose when we are actually digging around for boogers.Īnd while I have seen all manner of weird things while on the road, I can safely say that nothing compares to what I saw on the Southwest flight that Rand and I took from Albuquerque to San Diego. I have this terrible habit of assuming that most people are generally good, contributing members of society, and not bat-shit barely-functioning assholes. Also pictured: Dude in headphones who screamed when people got too close to him. "It was extremely disheartening to hear our largest air carrier- to hear one of their employees- their pilots speak so disparagingly about the San Jose area," he shared.Pictured: Rand, the best person on this plane. Southern California resident, Shane Forker told ABC7 News, "I think I'd maybe be worried that he was drunk, or out of his mind, maybe."Ĭouncilman Raul Peralez, whose district encompasses Downtown San Jose and the airport, called the comments disheartening. Especially with everything that's been going on." Trade told ABC7 News, "I think it's a good thing that the aircraft did not hear that because I would be very scared to hear a pilot saying that. Judina Trade returned to the Bay Area on Thursday, traveling through SJC. ![]() While his tirade wasn't broadcast to passengers, travelers say the audio is concerning. F*****g weirdos, probably driving around in F*****g Hyundais, F*****g roads and s**t that go slow as f**k." Like eight guns out here somewhere as it is. The unidentified pilot was heard on a radio frequency at Mineta San Jose Airport (SJC) as the flight taxied for departure. SAN FRANCISCO (KGO) - A Southwest Airlines pilot was caught on a hot mic making an expletive-filled rant against the Bay Area. A Southwest Airlines pilot was caught on a hot mic making an expletive-filled rant against the Bay Area. ![]()
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